How many of us actually live in this moment?
How many of us actually pause long enough to see what is actually going on around us?
I suspect that there is a lot of us who don't actually live in the NOW
In 1993 and again In 2013 I had a breakdown. This manifest itself in not only physical symptoms, that were very visceral and real, but mental manifestations also. The thoughts were not delusional in nature, no I didn’t think I was God, but they were never the less real and very scary. Tara Brach has often been quoted as saying that thoughts are ‘real but not true’ and I can certainly agree with that. Thoughts are part of me, part of what makes me, ‘Me’, but they are not the whole of who I am. They are but a part of who I am, but quite a powerful element of my makeup.
When the anxiety was at its highest, what came about was a deep sense of fear. I was scared of everything and from the depths of my mind came all forms of ‘monstrous’ manifestations. Doubt about relationships, fear of people, fear of myself, lack of emotional connection, the list went on. People however knew that it wasn’t me, but I didn’t
Move 4 years on and I am still working though a lot of thoughts that are ‘real but not true’, but I have a new tool I’m my armoury.
Mindful awareness, often referred to as simply ‘mindfulness’, is non judgemental awareness of the present moment without layering over it thoughts feelings etc. It is what it is and at the core of it is your personal reaction to that. The judgement, reaction is extra to the process and it is these reactions that we can look at and then unpack. However the key to it all is the ‘non-judgemental’ element to awareness that is key.
This core teaching in Buddhism and also humanistic psychology has been for me the key to unlocking addictive and repetitive behaviour patterns. It is not to say that I still don’t react and respond to life in a less than balanced way, I am human after all, it is the response after that which is key and it is mindful awareness that has done this.
Its one to try. I am not saying it is for everyone, no there are a 1001 other techniques for self reflection and behaviour change, but I have found this one the most gentle, subtle and accessible.
Want to know more, or simply chat about it, drop me an email and let’s see if we can be more mindful together